When I shifted from teaching middle school to facilitating professional development and later teaching at the university, I had to change how I built a learning community. I knew I wanted the same relational outcomes, and experimented a lot to find what worked best. Our relationships with adult learners require nuance: Students might be at different developmental levels in teacher preparation, but they are all human, which means care, compassion, and authentic relationships are necessary to optimize learning (Hattie, 2009; 2012).
The acronym N.E.A.R. communicates a few tips that help me kickstart relationships with adult learners.
Notice. Even students who are content to mostly listen, take notes, or let others lead in group activities need to be noticed.
- Memorize names. Prior to each semester, I use campus resources to pull up student photos. When they walk into class on the first day, I greet students by name. Even when I forget a few, it models building a culture of learning, and the “wow, you took time to memorize our faces!” never loses its power.
- Pay attention to culture: tattoos, stickers on water bottles and computers, phone cases, interesting snacks. Students show us who they are; we just need to listen.
- Arrive to class early enough to log into the teaching station and set up before students arrive. This frees up time to notice students as they trickle in.
Engage. Find ways to share your story. My students are hungry for stories from the field. They want to know my worst management nightmare, if a lesson I taught ever bombed (I’ve lost count), how to solve a colleague disagreement. Last week I shared my school picture as a first year teacher. After making fun of my 90s hair and the gold threads in my fitted vest, they realized we all start in the same place, and their fears are safe with me.
Accept. We are the adults (even though most of them are, too). We need to accept responsibility for leaning in, building up, and making connections. Sometimes I get stuck in “should”: they should be on time, they should not ask to meet at the last minute. Shoulds lead to assumptions that can irritate a relationship. Make the first move.
Relate. I received an eloquent letter of apology once from a student who forgot to upload documentation of a taught lesson. She offered to accept a grade reduction and promised it would never happen again. Here’s what I told her: Last week I had a day that was so crazy I didn’t look at my calendar. When I did finally look, late into the evening, I realized I missed a phone interview with a new student. I didn’t call. I didn’t even know I didn’t call. There will be no grade reduction; thank you for your professionalism
We are human, and if I insist on penalties for being human, I raise a barrier to relationship.
In discussing the Ethic of Care, Nel Noddings (2002) notes that caring for others is more about what we do than how we feel. People know we care when we are attentive, when we stay near. Last tip: Attend to student relationships. Plan ways to Notice, Engage, Accept, and Relate with as much intention as you plan the content in your courses.
